Cleared for take-off

I must have misunderstood my husband. Evidently, I could get on an airplane because the cabins are pressurized. I still don't wanna, though. And, it still isn't a good idea. I just thought I'd clarify.

Chronic, Bizzarro World

Well, that is just a fun word right there. Chronic. Chronic Graft vs. Host Disease. After a recent visit with my GVHD doctor, she let me know that the team in Dallas has tried just about all of the available treatments, and that I should go visit a fella in Seattle to see what he has to offer. Just hop on a plane and let him look me over once. I am a pretty compliant patient, so I immediately started looking at airfare for two. I then realized that this made no sense for us right now. One of many problems was simply getting on an airplane when I start having major trouble breathing around 5,000 feet. Also, a person that knows my history (and has read over this Seattle fellow's journal articles) will do what is best. I am happy with my treatment for now. I went from there to my photopherisis therapy that does something to the tcells in my blood using UV light. It became quite clear that this was too taxing on my body and my family with the trips to Dallas and the subsequent days of recovery. We just were not seeing the results that we hoped. So, I made plans to cancel any further trips and cut the treatment short.

In the next few days, I went to my local eye doctor. Fearing the worst, I put my chin up to the microscope. "Not too bad." What? That was the best news I had heard in a long while. Not only have I maintained vision, but the eyes actually look less dry. My tear duct plugs had fallen out, so he put some more in for me. "Just keep doing what you have been doing." My eyes have been so much more comfortable! So....I did not cancel the photopherisis. Maybe God is using it after all, and we should stick to the plan.

So, how am I feeling? Decent. I'm able to do a few things here and there, but my eyes and my lungs as well as just feeling run down require me to sit a lot more than I would like. I feel unsteady, but my appetite has picked up. I might have to start taking medicines to make me eat more if I keep loosing weight. It is the opposite of the way I have lived most of my life. I keep crackly packages close at hand to grab if there is any inkling of hunger, and my husband is on his toes to grab me a real Dr. Pepper for coughing fits. Bizzarro world.

Sweet little quotes

Two quotes by a super sweet little girl that I never want to forget:

"It's a pa-pize!" (surprise)
"What land are we in?"

Waltz Across Texas

Tonight I'm putting together a playlist with as many west Texas songs as I can think of for my uncle and his wife that just got married out there. "Waltz Across Texas" by Willie Nelson just played. I have the strongest memory of my grandmother, Nanny, showing me how to waltz in her trailer house while this 8 tract played. She had always been very old to me, and it always delighted me to no end when she showed me a new dance. "Put your little foot" and "The Cotton Eyed Jo" were also favorites. During her early married years, she frequented the honkey-tonks with my grandfather. She remembered dancing with Bob Wills once in Bandera. I also loved when she played hymns on the piano. Nanny "jazzed it up" a bit, and it seemed more like an old saloon than a church building. Mrs. Causey honored her memory greatly by playing at the Methodist Church in this style for my grandmother's funeral.

So, the drive to west Texas was about 9.5 hours, and we got to enjoy my parent's cabin one night with the gorgeous views and beautiful stars and incinerating toilet. Before this trip, we had gone to my mom's brother's 75th birthday and on to South Padre Island for a continuing medical education trip. Sea level is much nicer to my lungs than the mountains!

Our last hurrah before school begins is to the Bass Pro Shop resort outside of Branson, MO. I doubt that we'll go into town to see shows because there is so much to do right by the lodge. Fishing, boating, and maybe even BB gun lessons.

a few quotes:

"Mom, I love you so much now that I am four. I didn't when I was three."
"Zane! Quit playing with your pizza!" "I'm not! See, it is a flower, and the wind is blowing the petals." "Oh, yeah....That is beautiful!"
"When I get my pocket knife I'm going to show you how I can chop vegetables in the air!"

The Bike and the Snake

Van agonized for months over whether or not to buy a road bike. He already owned a mountain bike, but most of the triathalons in which he hoped to participate required a road bike. Yes, he could rent one the day of the race again, but it would be helpful to be able to train with one. He scoured craigslist, and finally found one that he loved at Bear Mountain, the locally run camping/bike store. Everything local is named after a bear. "The Dancing Bear" is a pub, "Oso" is a frozen yogurt joint, and that's all I can think of right now. So, he headed over to Bear Mountain the first chance he got, and the road bike had just been sold.

A few days later, he signed up for the Xterra, a mountain bike triathalon in hilly Cameron Park. He had two weeks to train, but hey, he had a mountain bike. He met me at the YMCA to help retrieve the children after their swim lessons with the intent to bike afterwards. He returned to his truck and found it lacking the mountain bike. The poor fellow went back into the Y, but they could do nothing because there are no cameras on that side of the building. In the next couple of days, he returned to Bear Mountain and bought a great MOUNTAIN bike. Ugg. He did his best to catch up on the training.

The day of the race arrived. Van cruised up and down the hills feeling the quality of the new bike, when at mile 4 (out of 8), the chain snapped and the end of the handle bars hit him full force in the gut as he crashed to the ground. He checked himself over, tried not to sob like a baby, and told his urologist friend that was with him that he might need an MRI later that day. Along came the nice race folks who picked up both Van and the bike, and commented, "Is that a new bike? Yeah, sometimes the chains are a bit loose at first."

The kiddos have been mostly fighting like cats and dogs since school let out with a few sweet breaks in between. The puppy dog has been learning quite a bit and mostly obeys. Mostly. She still has a weakness to jump on the table if we are not looking. Thankfully, she loves outdoors and does not seem to mind the heat, so we let her in and out thoughout the day, and can kennel her outside in the morning if we need to go somewhere. She is a quiet dog, but raised a racket yesterday when she came upon a snake. Of course, Van was out for a jog, and I had just gotten the last child down for a bed. Cade was concerned, so he went outside to check things out. I told him that it was either a frog or a snake. Sure enough. I yelled at him to come and get his boots. Of course, that stirred the whole house. I made Avi and Zane stay inside, and I grabbed Van's boots for me. I started looking around for the hoe, but I realized that I was definitely going to fall in those cavernous boots trying to kill the snake. I asked somebody to get a treat for the dog who was very excited and proud of herself, and that amazingly lured her into the house. Cade quickly found the plastic fold-out snake field guide, and we tried to discern which snake it was. Van arrived home not to three sleeping children but to three frenzied children climbing the walls and a very tired wife. The man went into a frenzy himself (I love this about Van.), and grabbed some thick gloves and his snake stick that he got at the rattlesnake festival a couple of years ago and has never had the chance to use. I yelled after him to put on his boots, and he did. I guess I have a thing about snakes requiring boots. So, he and Cade worked on capturing the snake, and they did after many whoops and hollers. I think they were as proud as Scout. They posed for a picture and put it in a garbage bag. The whole lot of them loaded into his truck and took it down to the river as it was decided that it was a diamondback water snake. I kept the dog and watched an episode of Pioneer Woman. Then, about two hours after we had first begun, we started the bedtime ritual all over again.

I am very weary of medical stuff. It feels like two steps forward and one step back. The past few weeks have been especially hard, and my mom and my sister have been so kind to care for my kids. I started some new medicines this week that knocked me off of my feet, and I could literally barely walk because I felt so unbalanced and weak. It took awhile, but we finally narrowed it down to the medicine that was causing the trouble, and I stopped using it. My balance has almost come back, but I am still seeing double sometimes. I expect that by the end of the day my eyes will be working together again. To top it off, I had some significant muscle pain in my back and ribs. This one was new for me, so I wasn't sure what to do. One thing that has been helpful is that I took my handy-dandy 20% off coupon to Bed Bath and Beyond and bought a back massager that straps to a chair. So, in the middle of the night, I slip into the kitchen, grab a Gogurt, and sit in that chair for 15 minutes. It helps so much. My lungs do seem better and so do my eyes. I am thankful. Mom and Dad are coming today to take care of the kids while I do the photopherisis treatments in Dallas, then we will celebrate the 4th in Utopia. Cade is looking forward to chicken and dumplings.

Froggie went a-courtin'

"But sweetie, I think we should keep the tadpoles here. If we take them home, they might die." With big round eyes, Zane said, "But what if they LIVE?!?" And so they did. You can view them on our kitchen counter. I telephoned my wildlife consult, and my sister expertly recommended boiled lettuce, and now we have twenty or so fat little tadpoles swimmin' in the water. We had gone down to the river with our sweet friends that have just finished up their assignment in Uganda. What a precious time. We all clung to every minute. The visit also included a presentation with our children dressed up as a hunter, an assassin, a bunny, a butterffly, a queen and a narrator. The keyboard music punctuated the dramatic parts of the skit. Too cute. My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard! No visit is completee without a trip to the doctor, so after a confirmed corneal ulcer for me and dehydration for Van, our friends turned lemons into lemonade and took the children out for pizza and a movie and saved the day. My eyes are still struggling, so Mom is in town to take me to appointments.

the long and winding road

This has been a long road! I have been so discouraged by the setbacks, but my doctor has encouraged me to see the big picture and focus on that I have received a "long time cure", and that it is very unlikely for leukemia to crop up again this far out. We are changing to another doctor in the same group that focuses on graft vs. host disease. She recommedended another round of photopherisis (treating the blood with light). 80-90% of patients that have eye and mouth problems like mine find some relief. There is a possibility that it could help my lungs, too. Insurance has not been as cooperative in the past, so I have had to cancel some Dallas appointments, and we are having a hard time finding a photopherisis place. I do worry, but I know that the Lord will provide. In the meantime, I am trying to eat and stay active despite my low energy. It has been tough.

A New Chapter?

Seven Decent Breathing Days in a row! I even have some kind of sinus thing going on, and it hasn't morphed into pneumonia. I'm determined to get off of some of my meds, so we shall see if the doctors let me. I've been able to host a craft night for a handful of church folk, and host a big birthday bash for our now 6-year-old sweetie. What would you like for your birthday, Zane? "Balloons." Okay. What else? "I would like balloons for my birthday." A very loyal child. We also got him a zip line. Van installed it(mostly) just in time for the hoards of children willing to wait in line to teeter on the top of a ladder and shoot across the yard. Thankfully, one of the dads stayed at the party to catch children at the end as they approached the small tree leaning from the strain. We'll have to move the set up at some point!

Scout, our puppy, is doing well, and we are getting used to living with an animal. Avi and I took her on a walk around the block. It was the first time that I had the confidence to walk up the incline, and it went well. I had been worried that I would run out of breath and have a hard time getting back home. Scout was fussy with the leash and got tired very quickly, so Avi and I carried her much of the way! It was nice to go for a walk with these two sweeties.

Today, I will drop off Avi at Parents' Day Out, run a couple of errands, eat lunch with friends and meet Cade's class at the Mayborn museum to catch part of their field trip. He is very excited for his tour of Waco!

Catch up

Sometimes life is whizzing by so fast that it is hard to sit and reflect and figure out the deeper meaning because it keeps whizzing by as I am sitting! That is how the past few weeks have been. Part of it is the addition of our new sweet beagle pup, Scout. She is precious. We have all adjusted nicely, and she is well-loved. Thankfully, a new dog has proven much easier than a new baby, and we have all slept nicely and been able to leave her behind when we "go to town". As my friend says, "Yeah, you don't exactly have to worry about their future."

We've been praying a lot for Van's step-dad. He has some serious health issues, and we pray that he regains his strength soon. We also pray for Van's mom as she cares for him.

We pieced together the Resurrection Eggs (12 Easter Eggs that tell the crucifixion story) after years of use and shuffling in the moving process. The children know the story very well, so we were thankful for the Bible teaching that they have had. Avi's understanding shocks me. "He died on the cross to take away our punishments." So true.

While that parenting decision went well, the one of the red Kool-Aid at supper did not. While Van was out on a run, I put the kid's food on the table. Usually we try to eat together, but it was weird timing it with the fun neighborhood girls over. Van and I got to eat together while the kids played, and that was refreshing. Anyway, the red Kool-Aid with the child with the glass bowl on the tablecloth with the puppy tugging at the corner was disasterous. They were all sent outside while I cleaned up (and hollered a lot) so the puppy wouldn't try to eat the food mixed in with the broken glass. Poor Van came home to a scene.

That's what happenened in the last few hours. I'm not sure what we did last month.

Holding on

So much has happened in the last month or so that it will take a while to catch up, but one story that I want to record happened last night. For a couple of months, Cade has been saving up for a pocket knife for when he is "maturre enough". He does this by doing extra chores. Normal chores are things like putting up his clothes, taking out the trash, and taking the new puppy (!) outside. Extra chores are harder things like pulling weeds, vacuuming out the car or sweeping the porch, and they are also used as punishments until enough are given that we can see a change in his heart. They come sporatically because homework and friend time can take a good chunk of time after school. So, Cade had saved up about $5. The book he REALLY wanted at the bookfair that included a description for each one of the Star Wars minifigures AND it included a REAL minifigure was $18. Cade decided that he was not mature enough for a pocket knife, and he would start over saving for it if I could cover the rest of the cost. Sounded good to me! At the bookfair (after an incredible performance of Zane in a PE program) Cade found his book. When it was time for check out for our family, we were trying to navigate him to outside of the library where the line was short. He didn't understand, and started to panic clinging to the book thinking that we were going to leave without it. It was very crowded and very distracting, but he finally trusted us to move outside of the doors of the library to the easier check-out. Reflecting on it later, it made me ask myself what I am holding onto? What area of my life am I not fully trusting in God, panicking, and not wanting to just simply listen and move "outside" my comfort zone?

Downer

The grand ol' Duke of York,
He had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill
and he marched them down again.

And when they were up, they were up.
And when they were down, they were down.
And when they were only half-way up, they were neither up nor down.

I have another virus/infection? Yuck. I'm staying home from church and the activities for the day. I have my very own nebulizer for breathing treatments now, and I have a couple of strong antibiotics. Hopefully, I'll stay out of the hospital. I go to Dallas on Thursday, and I think Van is going to go as well.

Fancy Shmancy

I had a doc visit on Wednesday. No changes in treatment. No news is good news! My appetite is better, and my weight is holding steady. My breathing is decent, but is challenging at times and limiting. My eyes are very annoying, but I'm learning coping tools. I strapped on that toolbelt and loaded up with Van to come to a continuing medical education conference in San Antonio. We both hesitated because last year's conference was a complete DISASTER with my eyes and lungs, car trouble, etc. But because my parents were available to take care of our kids, and because Van and I have been at each other's throats, we decided that it was best. I almost bought a sign at Hobby Lobby the other day to laugh with him. It said, "What we have here is a failure to communicate." Anyway, we loaded our respective bags in the comfy minivan. We got all the way to Georgetown before the check engine came on. Oh, yes, by the way, Van, the same light came on when I was coming back from the doctor's office in Dallas yesterday. "What we have here is a failure to communicate." He calmly pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot, called 1-800-Farm-Tow and our sweet insurance agency (thank you!) and ordered a smoothie for me and a Blizzard for him. Then, he ordered a Blizzard for me, too. The tow truck man was pretty prompt. We had a very sober, engaged discussion about life's woes in the cab of his truck on the way back to Waco. Van and I both attempted to elicit laughter from the man, but it was to no avail. I couldn't believe that references to National Lampoons Christmas Vacation didn't do the trick. Super sentimental and very kind. Van recommended a book about being fathered by God to him, and he was touched. Not what we expected!

Mom, Dad and the kids met us at the mechanic with Van's truck. The kids were all smiles and loving grandparent time. They gawked at our minivan being lowered with hydrolics, and Zane savored rolling our suitcases through the puddles in the parking lot. Chick-Fil-A lemonade and back on I35. We waved at the Dairy Queen in Georgetown an hour later, and we landed in San Antonio with full bladders. Fancy Hotel on the Riverwalk with a cush bed and cush pillows. Van walked to go learn something the next morning, and I found some hot chocolate and a scone. I played on Shutterfly with the Cooking channel in the background. I finished the photo album "Summer 2011" and got sentimental missing my sweet kids and my parents. That was the summer right after my transplant, so there were fewer pictures than normal, but most included my folks and Van alongside the kids in the garden, in the kitchen and building a picnic bench in the yard. Just lovely.

Then, a real treat. Van came back for lunch, and we met my San Antonio cousins at Spagetti Warehouse and got in a nice visit. These are folks that I grew up with seeing several times a year, and now we keep up with each other via Facebook. It was really special time.

After Van's last session, we walked through the mall, needing absolutely nothing but an ICEE. We strolled over to Fogo de Chao, an eating establishment that brought back memories of Nairobi's Safari Club. Once upon a time, when we were broker than broke, we spent some money in Kenya at a place where they served all types of wild game (crocodile, etc.) while we watched traditional dancing. If I remember correctly, each person cost $14 which was crazy expensive. This time, there were 1,000 waiters that came around offering us prime rib, pork rib, filet mignon, and all types of Van food on a skewer. My favorites were the Brazillian treats of carmalized banana and fried plantains. This part reminded me of teaching in Houston when our cook, Chari, cooked bananas in cream for us as a treat. She was from Spain, and put a lot of love into every morsel. I was nervous at first being in such a nice setting and forgetting to change out of my tennis shoes, but the wait staff and the company I was keeping made me feel at ease. We called the kiddos to check in. Avi had been to the coin store with Mom and Dad. She had charmed the owner who let her pick a few treasures of foreign currency. Pretty cute. The owner commented that she was such a well behaved child. I wonder if he changed his mind after she turned out the store's lights on the way out. The boys and a neighbor had ventured into the woods to make soup for the animals. It included acorns and sticks. They figured it would attract raccoons.

Just a few more days before we check to see if our little beagle has been born. I'm surprisingly excited about it. I think it will be a little challenging to adding another responsibility, but I think it will be really good overall.

Congestion and Relationships and a few quotes in-between

Thankfully, at day 5 congestion is still simply congestion and nothing worse. I feel like I'm holding my breath (ha!) waiting for the rug to be pulled out, but so far, it is just a bump in the road.

Recent quotes-- Cade: I made some new year's revolutions at school today.

Avi, as she was laid down in her bed with her eyes closed: B..b...b...God bless you. (snore)

Cade: Do we have any special Cajuns coming up? You know, like Valentine's Day or Leprechan Day? I like Leprechan Day. Is it called St. Patrick's Day? (That child can ask more questions in a row than anyone I know.)

Avi: Daddy told me to eat my piggy pancake (pancake with sausage on a stick) before I got milk, but I put it on the counter and that sneaky Zaner ate it up, so I did not eat it up, so Daddy got me milk.

Zane: I need to go make something. (That's my boy!) I don't have many quotes from Zane because he mostly speaks in sound effects.

Our little neighbor: Did you have someone come and clean your house today? (God bless this child! I love her!)

Avi, holding a wad of tape: This is a pretty ("pwetty") wallet that can hold nothing. It needs to stay pretty.

My sweet friend took care of Avi for a few hours today so I could grocery shop and unload and get in a nap. Avi is so easy that I could do these things with her, but
my energy is low, and she had much more fun with a friend!

Cade and Zane are back in the swing of school. I very much dislike homework. I try to have the boys finish before Van gets home, and yuck! Spelling words are the most painful. I really like the boys being required to read, though. We enjoy that part.

Well, it is time to listen to a sermon about relationships, so I'll cut this short. Van and I are trying to spend some time together while we don't have a major crisis or birth of a chlld going on. It's a new thing.

A Very Merry Christmas

We have unpacked and have designated places for most items in our new house. We have located most everything of importance and unimportance, and are caught up on laundry and dishes. So far, I've avoided getting sick this season despite most of Texas catching the crud. I'm ready to dive in and get organized, hang pictures and land some seating and rugs for the house. The back fence should be completed last week, and I just emailed an inquiry for a baby beagle. It is all coming together! I've especially enjoyed being able to watch the sunsets from our living room and dining room. Pretty, pretty.

After a week of decongestants and Starbucks, Van drove himself to a clinic on Saturday to get two liters of fluid. His mom's crew watched the kids, welcomed all the family (cousin time!) and started Christmas dinner while I went to retrieve my pale husband and poke fun at him during his first IV of his life. We still were able to have a nice visit and watch the kids open their presents. Van was still weak on Sunday, and I am scared of germs, so we went ahead and skipped celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior and got on the road. Van felt better yesterday, so we celebrated in Utopia at the Methodist Church Christmas Eve service whispering to our kids, "and that is your cousin, and that is your cousin, and that is your cousin....." I think it was the first time that we trusted them to hold a candle, and they did very well. No one managed to burn themselves or their neighbor, and the fire department did not have to be summoned. The service was beautiful, and it was a great worship time. The little white church with stained glass windows is special to me because that is where many of our family attend, where my parents got married and where I ate many Oreos and drank red Kool-Aid at VBS. I even remember the nursery toy that could either be a rocking boat or be turned over to be a bridge. It is also where my sweet late grandmother took me to "prayer meetings" where we recited the Lord's prayer. Last night we came home and heated up steaks and tamales (my mom has great leftovers--the pinto beans were just right) before opening presents with the kids. The children had wonderful presents. Avi received a Radio Flyer All Terrain Wheels wagon, Cade got a bike, and Zane got a Nintendo DSi handheld game from us. Avi also got a "Baby Walk" as she calls it. That girl loves baby dolls, and it and some other toys have gotten rides in her new wagon and have been really loved on. Cousin time has been especially sweet, but there is a virus a-brewin'. My health is holding pretty well, but I've been a little sluggish. Ew. Slugs.

Van is headed to Fort Davis this afternoon for some quiet time. It is about five hours from here. He's planning on staying in my parent's rustic, high-altitude cabin with the toilet that ignites waste and hiking and biking around. I'm not sure what I'll do in the meantime. I might stay here in Utopia or I might get Mom to drive us back to Waco after my sister's crew and my uncles head out. I might steal any of my sister's kids that escape the crud. I'm itching to get organized in the new house, but at the same time, I have realistic expectations about how much can be accomplished with my three children and neighborhood friends. The priority needs to be doling out pickles and crackers and not sorting paper stacks. Those can wait. I hope to settle on a plan for some seating and rugs while Van is off from work to get comfy in the new place. That way, his muscles and his truck can be utilized! I found some great deals on craigslist but he has his doubts and wants to buy new. We have been debating the same thing but different items for 13 years now! December 18 was our anniversary. We'll carve out some special time soon. Van was volunteering at Mission Waco that night, and we want to celebrate when we have a slower pace. Ha!

Helpful Cows, Purple and Brown

November 12 was the official moving day. We moved in and Mom and Dad got to work. Dad did manly man things with drills and trips to Home Depot and carried things to me and said "Where do you want this?" Pretty handy. Mom cooked and did laundry and then did laundry and cooked. I was at a point where it was hard to eat at all (super weird, I know), and it was especially helpful to have a mom here to offer things like purple cows (grape juice over ice cream) and Lindor truffles. I lost a ton of weight. I'm at my highschool weight but not exactly in my high school shape! It is not fair to be skinny AND have a double chin! Anywho, a bunch of friends pitched in, too, and got our kitchen Contact papered, beds put together and hardware put on the furniture. I sat and coughed. I was very thankful for the help! Since then, folks have been putting in grass, sprinklers, and fixing stuff that didn't work out quite right the first time--thankfully surface issues. Most everything is out of the box, and we are very disorganized, but happy. Mom and Dad are "back at the ranch", and we are keeping up. One of our friends stocked the freezer so we can just heat up meals, but I did make a nice HEB run to buy staples and lunch box items. The house literally has bells and whistles that I'm still deciphering. The one that kept stumping us is the refrigerator that chimes if the door is left open too long. I'm still too scared to figure out the alarm system, but I have turned on the oven by pressing buttons like a microwave, and I have finally found the buttons to the dishwasher. Cade was happy after he came home from school on the first day here, "Do the toilets work?" (um, yeah...) "YES!!!!" and he ran off happy. Zane came in and did a kitty-pounce on the couch. Avi plays for literally thirty minutes at a time by herself in her room during the day. She loves her little toys and role-playing with them. Neighborhood children show up in our yard. One time, after a few visits, a group of three little ones rang the doorbell. The oldest was the spokesman. His eyes never quite met mine, but were focused on the game room. He said, "My dad said that we could...." and the three of them bolted into the house. I loved it. I'm actually a pretty shy person (a.k.a. socially awkward!) but little neighbor kids running through our house is great, especially now that I'm up at at 'em. (I've also taught them where the plastic cups are so they can get their own water!) Zane summed it up the other day when he said, "In our old house I used to wake up and look out the window to see if we had any new neighbors." (...because they were renting the house, and sometimes I couldn't tell exactly who was living there either.)

Thanksgiving was quiet but nice. I felt lousy that day, but mom decided to cook. A friend had brought lots of very nice leftovers because they celebrated early. I had gone to Wal-Mart the day before and picked up some pies because I knew the kiddos would expect this and some turkey napkins. It all came together, despite my couch potato-ness, and we had a lovely traditional meal with my parents. As long as we kept feeding them rolls and let them put on their own butter, the children sat--very unusual, and very welcomed. We had hoped that my sister's family would be able to come, but one had a fever, and although it was killin' us all, we knew better than for me to risk getting another virus. That made me super sad, but we knew we were going to see them the next week, and that made things better. Van's mom was able to come down on Saturday which was great and we had a nice visit.

Van took off the next Friday, we picked up the boys early from school--a little scandelous. We met my sister's crew at Great Wolf Lodge near Dallasish. It is a hotel with a water park inside. No sunscreen! Van's sister and her friend were able to meet us there that night, and my sister made us microwave hotdogs and had cupcakes ready for my niece's, Cade's and Avi's birthdays. It was great. My sister founnd the exact pony toy that makes noise from 2002 still in the box that Avi had liked playing with at her house. My sister does things like this. Again, I didn't feel so hot and every one else did all the work (hey, kid, can you carry this for me?), but it was so good to see everyone. I sported a swimsuit and determined to go in the "lazy river" with my Avi as she requested. We got in, and she practically crawled on the top of my head yelling, "I want to get OUT of here!" It seemed like a thrill ride to her, but we slowly made our way to an exit with her perched on my head and an inner tube around me. Oh, well. She and I were both happier with me watching her in the kiddie pool. I watched Zane and Elise go around the same "river". Every time Zane came around, he had a silly grin on his face and was doing something different. One time, just his head was in the inner tube so you could barely even see him. The next time, he was flipping over the edges of it. A place like that is great for a hollerer like Zane. His antics didn't bother a soul, and he was having the time of his life. The 5 oldest kids kept Van and Gil, my brother-in-law, busy on the big slides. Van was TIRED at the end of the time. My sister's family came back to Waco with us and helped and played. "A good time was had by all." as they say in church bulletins. Speaking of church, we left my oldest niece, Carly (just turned 10), at church while we headed out to McAlisters to eat. Between the two minivans, we didn't manage to count six children. She was retrieved and forgave us. Sweet thing will have a story to tell on us all.

We were in survival mode for a little while. I was living off of expensive yogurt (Brown Cow mango and apricot) and Duck Dynasty. Van finally got sick of me being so weak, and asked me to talk to my doc. I sent him an email (how handy is that?) and based on my complaints at the last visit plus more details that I was able to write out better than verbalize, his nurse gave me a call and took me off of the offending med. Then, she called the next day relieving me of another med. Sweet. My appetite has been gradually increasing! (Thank you life group for praying about this. God has been merciful!) Also, my Bone Marrow doc wanted me to take further action about my dry eyes due to Graft vs. Host disease, and my Waco eye doc agreed that I could have contacts again to keep the moisture in better. I probably use half the eye drops that I used to, and I feel so much better in-between. I was giddy after that appointment. I felt like I was giving real smiles, not just polite ones or tired ones to folks or worse the quick-and-look-away ones. I really hate it when I do those. I'm still weaning off of steroids, but simply because I can eat more Brown Cow and swallow Dr. Pepper better, I have been able to function! I'm able to unpack, and lift small things. I'm able to holler and to even sing a little if I am sitting. Cade was impressed that I knew the prologue to "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". I feel confident watching my kids and others, and I can pull a whole day by myself. It feels really good. Pulmonary rehab is going well, too, and I can tell a difference in my breathing. I actually felt some satisfaction in mopping tonight because I realize that mopping is a privilege, not a right---ha!

It has hit me that the house will not be clean and organized by Christmas time. I'll shoot for disinfected and non-tripable paths. One reason is that although Van took two days off this week, much of that "free time" has been spent putting together a basketball goal for the kids. He said the instructions were written by an person who's first language was not English and more importantly....had never put together a basketball goal. And...it is missing 8 bolts that we'll need to pick up tomorrow. Ah, well. We still jaunted to Belton to cut our very first "real" Christmas tree. The imported ones were prettier, but we had beefed up the actual sawing experience to a degree that there was no going back. (We also snuck in a playdate with our long time friends.) Now, a naked tree is in our living room. It is quite lovely, do we have to unpack ornaments? I bought a candle stand as a table decoration at Goodwill, and Cade put it together for me. It is missing a candle, and the roundish candles are all warped from heat. Love it. I also bought two end tables to refinish at a consignment store. They will be cute one day, but right now, they are sitting in our living room being functional. Poor Van. He earned money for a beautiful, brand-spankin' new home, and I am filling it with practicality.

I've been thinking about this verse lately. James 1:25, "But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does." What in the world? "perfect law of liberty" Now isn't that amazing. My restrictions/guidelines are what give me freedom. Weird, but I like it. I'm going to keep an eye out for that. I want to be a "doer of the work". Now, how do I do that when there are days that I'm not capable of much "work"? Hmmmmmm...must be something there that I'm not looking at.

Cade is a little sick at the moment. Not fun. It is one of those in-between kind that makes me wonder whether or not to let him participate in the church program tomorrow. Zane has been pushing boundries (climbing shelves in the pantry to get to the gumballs) but happy as a lark. We're having to come up with a whole new set of rules in our new abode including neighbor etiquette and bus route protocol. ("And shut the refrigerator door. That beeping is driving me crazy!") Avi is in an easy phase--whew! She is content to color and cut and have playdates. I still don't have spell check figured out on this, so the reader will get to feel knowlegeable (see, I'm not sure how to even spell that one) and has permission to act superior.

Snug as a bug in a rug

I'm still in the hospial, but I feel much stronger. Van will be leaving a little late for work and coming home an hour early to take off some strain. I'm calling in favors for school pick up and childcare, and my parents will be coming this week. They'll get to be here on our big move-in date (Thursday or Friday) and I hope the three of us sit in sports chairs and point the movers to where the boxes need to go. Our house sold so quickly, that the boxes have way too general labels on them, so it will be a big surprise to open each one. "Cool! I had forgotten that I owned long-sleeved shirts!" she said opening the box labeled "cake pans". The kids will be ready to see their toys and ride their bikes!

I'm ancipating getting discharged or calling a cab tomorrow. I should be able to go home with just an extra "swallow" med and maybe an oxygen tank or compressor for when I'm up walking. Praise God! I was gearing up for another iv pole pet, but that won't be necessary. I'm not contagious, and it is a normal "bug". A little bit of visiting is good, and I'm so thankful with the little visits I've had so far, but I'm not up for phone calls. I can't stop talking because I truly like to catch up with people, and sometimes I end up with coughing fits that exhaust me. I honestly don't get lonely because there is good wi-fi here. Emails and Facebook are blessings. I do love all of you,and it means a lot for a person to take the time to come up here--Who wants to go to a hospital? Not me!-- so please don't feel snubbed. Please keep praying. The Lord is merciful. This one could have been really bad if we had waited any longer.

We have a mailbox at our new property (but no mail service yet). It is pretty, and we put some fossils in it. Neat. We're getting down to the doors on the doorknobs and towel racks. Very thankful. I'll trade you a door knob and an apple core for a new fence. It will be for baby beagle! And, our current three "pups". I'm getting very excited!

tiny boy to my big boy

Cade celebrated his 8th birthday Star Wars style with a Darth Vader invasion (his dad). Unfortunately, I didn't have quite enough time to get the lightsabers ready (skinny balloons) so he just got pelted with tennis balls, paddle balls, and anything else lying around that looked like a weapon. Darth Vader was smart to take the kids to the bedroom for tickle wars.

His gifts included star wars toys and legos---perfect---and books (friends of the library book sale---love it!) and a paint set, a canvas and a pallet that hooks on the thumb. Cade hasn't ever shown much interest in art, but at one point over the course of this month he said that he had always wanted a pallet, so I jumped on it! He also got duct tape and clothespins. Zane jumped on the duct tape like a dog on a bone, and was going ninety miles an hour making arrows like street lanes on our friends tile floor (I hope it comes off!) and a boat out of box lid for the bathtub. Van said that his hands could hardly work as fast as he could think of ideas for the duct tape. Balloonies, you have a new competitor. I'm glad Cade let him use it.

Van got to visit Cade's classroom today to read a book. They both loved it. Cade was star student of the week, so here's what we wrote to his class on his 8th birthday:

November 8, 2012

Hello!
Here is a little bit about your friend, Cade. Cade is tenacious. This means that he will not give up, even when things are hard. He is an excellent rock climber, and one time, through his hard work, even beat his dad to the top of a giant boulder! Cade finds a way to make things work even when the task seems impossible to the rest of us.

Cade is a lot of fun. He smiles a lot, and laughs at his family’s silliness. From his very first words, he has been so friendly, and will talk to people and make them feel important. He is especially good at talking with elderly people.

Cade is handy. He is a great problem solver if something is broken or if there is a situation that needs attention. He has very good ideas about how to fix broken toys or how to fix a problem. He is also helpful and can see if someone like his mom needs a door held open, and he takes out the trash quickly when asked. He helps his younger brother and sister. Cade is tidy and orderly and prefers to have his clothes and toys organized. Although he likes messy things like mud, he wants to have his teeth brushed, his hair combed and he loves a great bubble bath!

Cade is prompt. This means that he likes to be on time or early. He also likes to work quickly. Cade is usually three steps ahead, and has a plan. If his parents are in charge of the plan, he wants to know it, and he really wants us to stick to it. He doesn’t like it when we miss out on an event like church.

Cade is good with numbers, and he enjoys reading. He likes to read books about science (like volcanoes, earthquakes or any other terrible natural disaster) or about events that really happened (like about the Titanic, another disaster). He has been riding his bike since before he was five years old, and he likes sports. His favorite is tennis, but he has mostly had the opportunity to play soccer, basketball and baseball. He is especially good at finding weaknesses in the other team and taking opportunity to intercept the ball. He is also a great encourager to his teammates.

Cade likes to play with Bakugans, Transformers, and LEGOS. Did I mention Legos? If Cade’s room is quiet, he is building. It is one of the few times that he plays alone or quietly with his siblings. We added up one of his house creations that took ten hours. He also likes to get ahold of string, tape and cardboard for all types of inventions. He once had our whole house strung up like a spider web. I suppose he was trying to get his parents stuck in the web. Maybe he was a fly.

Cade loves animals. He has owned a hermit crab named Crabby and a bearded dragon named Sir Hiss. He loves his grandparent’s dogs, but is really looking forward to having a dog at our house. Cade is very gentle with animals and can be trusted to take care of them.

Cade likes video games and he likes TV. His favorites include Phineas and Ferb, Wild Kratts and the Crocodile Hunter. He also likes the old cartoons like Yogi Bear and Scooby Doo. He likes to watch football games with his dad and even presidential debates! He always has a lot of good questions about shows that he doesn’t watch often.

Cade is our boy, and he makes us proud. This has been the best eight years ever. We thank God for Cade.

Woe is me, me, me

Our friend is a Godsend. Not only does she put on my children's shoes to get them out the door quickly on a school morning (before she has to get out to her work herself), but she also does thoughtful things like switch the clothes from the washer to the dryer and fill up sippy cups from the now-no-doubt-about-it spoiled children. She is also a great listener and wise. Sweet lady came in very handy this week. I can't imagine how hard it would have been if we had still been in the neat little cabin on our own. I suppose it would have been like our baby girl innocently said out of the blue the other day, "Mama, what would happen if I pooped on the ceiling fan? Hee-hee!" Yep. Monday I woke up with an upset stomach. No biggie. Rest, rest. Video for child. Tuesday, a little tired. Rest, rest. Cancelled pulmonary rehab. Got the oil changed. Voted with kids in tow because it will be awhile before they will see another one that is so well publicized. I had warned them to use their library voices and to keep right with me. We happened to be at the most raucous voting site where the volunteers cheered for first time voters and handed out candy to my little ones. They lined them up for "I voted today" stickers. Rest, rest. Wednesday, more tired. Coughing begins. Rest, rest. Baked a cake mix with Avi. Haircuts for our shag-a-muffins. Rest, rest. Went to bed before we knew who was to be president. Thursday, ah, Thursday. Did not want to get out of bed. I finally did just enough to get boys to school. As soon as the cold air hit me, I got 30 minutes of chills, even after getting under a warm blanket. Avi and I made it to Walgreens to get Cade photos for his "Star Student of the Week", but was blasted tired in doing it. This is not good. I cancelled pulmonary rehab again. I caught a friend in the parking lot to take Avi into Parents Day Out for me. How lazy am I? I was lazy enough to cancel all errands for the day except for taking our sons Sonic chili cheese dogs for Cade's birthday up to the school. God must have known that I was doing this, and had pre-ordained a good friend who happens to have children that like our children sit at the same table. God is good like that. ;) She offered to pick up Avi from Parent's Day Out. I said yes because I just felt so tired and didn't want to put in another video for my girl (who happened to eat NINE fruit snack pouches the last time I slept while she watched a video). Vitamin C. I asked Van to meet with the house finisher to select where to put towel racks. I had once had an opinion about towel racks, but not that day. Slept the afternoon away waking every few minutes. Weird! Picked up the boys and barked at them, but thankfully, they were better behaved than I was and were forgiving. Iced a cake with Zaner. Cade put on the topper (Storm tropper that shot things?) and they shared poking in the candles. I picked up Avi and one of Cade's friends that lives next to our new house for his mini-birthday party. (Although, this would have been fine in itself, we'll celebrate a little bigger at Great Wolf Lodge with family for combined birthdays.) I was pretty much spent for the day. I'll tell you more about his party in the next post. I didn't want to get off the couch for the candle lighting or singing happy birthday, but I did. Van and our friend ran the whole show, and they did an excellent job and made our kids and Cade's friend feel important. The kiddos had a great time at the little party, and Cade's friend's parents picked up the precious boy. Finally, we took my temperature. Van freaked and was ready to take me to the clinic. I just wanted to go to bed. Sleep can cure most anything, and doctors are the pits. Well, I was wrong, and Friday, this morning, my temperature was even higher at 103.3, and I could tell that Van wasn't about to compromise and that I had better do what he said. He and my friend got the boys ready for school. We went to the clinic to get my vitals. Every blasted one of them was bad, so I promptly shut up and onto the ER we went (stopping by Panera to get an excellent peach smoothie--priorities-- and Van knew to do what I SAID at that point). The people at the ER are so efficient, and I was impressed. Van deposited Avi back at her friend's house (bless you, friend!), packed bags for me and our children, did a bunch of other stuff, and met his sister in Hillsboro to hand our children to her--they have been wanting to do this for so long that they won't think of poor puny mama, they are with Aunt Amy who is fun on wheels and Tye who is precious with them. I have mixed feelings that he did all of this on his day off, but I sure needed it. After a whole host of IV antibiotics (mind you, my normal weekly regimine includes 3 types of antiobitic pills and an antifungal) the fever is broken and I feel a ton better. People have been telling us about Duck Dynasty for a while now, and tonight happends to be a marathon. I'm enjoying it. I grew up country, but this is way more country. My people, especially on Mom's side, can tell you stories of this, but I'm so glad that there is real life living proof of this culture. So stinkin' fun. Tomorrow should be much less eventful.

Coolest Mom Ever

"Mom, if dad didn't marry you and married someone else, then you wouldn't be the COOLEST MOM EVER!" This was the compliment that I got after notifying the crew that I was taking them to a giant book sale. I'll take it. After lingering around the juvenile fiction section unsatisfied, I pointed him towards the science section. A thick, battered "Sharks and Rays" as well as a science textbook were the big winners. Zane picked out two princess books for Avi. She picked out three little chunky books to share with him. She didn't want to carry the princess books (they were really heavy), so Zane carried them for her. I was so proud. Zane found a Nemo book. How can you resist after he did something like that?

Earlier in the day I had taken the kiddos out of school to put their little handprints in our newly poured driveway. Yeah, I'm cool. The concrete man was cooler, though. He had a bucket of water ready for messy hands, and made sure that they weren't getting into the muck while I was scratching in their names and a bible verse. Yep, he's cool.

After all the events of the day, we returned to the cabin. We had cereal for supper to save time for PACKING! Yea! More packing! Our time is up at the cabin, so we're moving in with a dear friend while her hubby is away with work. We'll be there until November 12, at which point we will be moving into a new house or into a construction zone. "Mr. Carpenter, would you mind moving over a bit so I may brush my teeth?"

It has been interesting staying in a weekend space and still pulling off work and school (and laundry). The kiddos have been such troopers. They have done homework in some very challenging situations, and have been creative with their "toys". Sometimes, though, it can be tough sharing a small space. "Okay, let's take a tv break and go brush teeth." "May I go out to the car to get my new toothbrush?" "No, just use whatever is in the bathroom- just really, really, brush your teeth this time." He emerges a few minutes later with a frothy smile and MY pink toothbrush. (hopefully inaudible, mental sigh) "Wow. Your teeth are really clean. You used my toothbrush." "Sorry." There was no indication of regret. I don't know how many times my sweet husband has loaded our cars down with Rubbermaid tubs with labels like "Immediate Kitchen", "Important Papers", and "Costumes" as well as 4 days worth of clothes for 5 people. He usually does this after a full day...no more than a full day...of work. "Here's your cereal, dear."

I was able to go to the toothbrush thief's kindergarten fall party. Precious. It brought back neat memories of when Cade was in the same classroom playing the same wrap-the-mummy-with-toilet-paper games. Avi also had a party in her butterfly wings, but I had to miss that one because of rehab. It is going well. Van took the boys to eradicate zombies at a local church. Funny! I thought it might be a bit scary, but Van says that although Zane was straight-faced the whole time, he squared his shoulders and pointed his paint gun without fear at the approaching crew and laid them down flat. Van said the older zombies took a bit longer to fall and kind of went down on one knee first. The teenage zombies took tumbles and fell rapidly. Cade had a blast. Many thanks to Mrs. Jennifer who let us know of the fundraiser, and who let Zane defend her from the beasts.

The B-I-B-L-E class

This was posted on Facebook by one of Zane and Avi's bible class teachers. It is too good not to repeat:

Wednesday Bible Class: "I will do what the Bible says" - we made a Sword of the Spirit today. Actually, we just cut the sword out of paper. Thank you, Katie and Lily, for proving me wrong. I thought it would be the BOYS who started slapping each other with their paper swords .... Avery is so very good at behaving. She said she gets to behave a lot. Zane was a wonderful big brother again. He opened the Playdoh can for Avi, and made a snail for her. He even taste-tested her yummy playdoh pancake before she squealed that it was actually yucky. We live in a video world now; I tried to play The Quiet Game with the kids. Avi said, "Oh! I GOTTA tell you something - pause the game! pause the game!"

Sweet group of kiddos.

My day: Drug myself out of bed. Made sure I took my meds and had clothes on. Thanked Van for heating up breakfast for the crew and said a quick goodbye. Texted Van about something. The phone was on the cabin table. Dropped off Van's phone at his work. Dropped off boys at school making sure they were properly attired for the "jean-ous" of being drug-free on Red Ribbon Week. Kept Avi busy with food and a video in the back seat. Went by the storage units to see if there were any unmarked boxes to check for cabinet knobs for the new house. Went to Hobby Lobby to buy cabinet knobs that we must have accidently packed in a marked box. (They are so cute!) Drove back out to the Speegleville area to pay for the bunk beds we bought off of Craigslist. Drove to the Hewitt area to land on a friend and did laundry, painted her little girl's nails, stole from her trash pile (table legs- 3 of them!), and let her feed Avi and me while she homeschooled her older children. A babysitter came. I hadn't planned on this, so I had to choose quickly- what to do? I left Avi with my friend's babysitter and went to Wal-Mart. A poor quality bow and arrow set had snapped in my child's hands the minute he had gotten it out of the package. I was especially fired up about it because he had used his own money after getting a flu shot to buy it. They took it back and refunded the money! Texted Van: Do you want Spiderman, Avengers, blue or green birthday plates? His answer pleased me. I dropped of a treasure from my friend's trash at Goodwill. It was much more sellable than my 3 table legs! Lemonberry Slush from Sonic. Picked up a gift for Van. Picked up Avi. Picked up the boys. One had a discipline problem at school. What to do, what to do. Went to a landscaper early because I couldn't stand another minute in the car. He generously met me outside and spread the plans on my car hood while my kids downed bananas and a Dora video. Dropped the plans off at Van's work. Sped to the cabin. Started homework. Success! Play-Doh spelling words, and in Avi's case, Play-Doh in a saucepan! Spagetti was served on two kitchen chairs and a futon. Van's "home"! Ug. Van has more work to do. He eats, plays outside with the kids, and then the kids and I load up again. We dropped off Cade at music practice for the Christmas program. Back to the storage shed---where is the box of costumes that I saved back? Not there. Called Van. It is in the corner of the cabin. Ugh. I at least unloaded the 3 table legs!!! Zane, Avi and I were late to church, but I was so glad we went. I got to visit with two of my favorite people. Van is now done with work. I am now done writing. The dishes can wait because we're going to microwave breakfast on paper plates again. Backpacks are packed. Proper "keep a cap on drugs" attire has been prepared. Thank you, Lord, that these are the biggest issues that our family is dealing with! May you cover those that have had darker days and fill the night with peace and hope.