Holding on

So much has happened in the last month or so that it will take a while to catch up, but one story that I want to record happened last night. For a couple of months, Cade has been saving up for a pocket knife for when he is "maturre enough". He does this by doing extra chores. Normal chores are things like putting up his clothes, taking out the trash, and taking the new puppy (!) outside. Extra chores are harder things like pulling weeds, vacuuming out the car or sweeping the porch, and they are also used as punishments until enough are given that we can see a change in his heart. They come sporatically because homework and friend time can take a good chunk of time after school. So, Cade had saved up about $5. The book he REALLY wanted at the bookfair that included a description for each one of the Star Wars minifigures AND it included a REAL minifigure was $18. Cade decided that he was not mature enough for a pocket knife, and he would start over saving for it if I could cover the rest of the cost. Sounded good to me! At the bookfair (after an incredible performance of Zane in a PE program) Cade found his book. When it was time for check out for our family, we were trying to navigate him to outside of the library where the line was short. He didn't understand, and started to panic clinging to the book thinking that we were going to leave without it. It was very crowded and very distracting, but he finally trusted us to move outside of the doors of the library to the easier check-out. Reflecting on it later, it made me ask myself what I am holding onto? What area of my life am I not fully trusting in God, panicking, and not wanting to just simply listen and move "outside" my comfort zone?