Quicherbellyachin'

I think every person on the block has asked about my bathroom habits in the last two weeks. I was taught better than to ask such personal questions, but evidently in the hospital world, the answers are important. So I am now a more humble person, and now just anticipate the question and spout out any information that I might have to the person that walks through the door. Someone may have to re-introduce me to normal society after this is all over so I don't stop passers-by at HEB to let them know of my latest news.

My buddy, the IV pole, has been sitting idly making puppy-dog eyes at me while I've had a break from the week-long chemo. We will probably have a reunion tomorrow because I'll need some platelets and blood, most likely. I actually feel decent-until I stand up and my knees are Jello. I've been trying to have some activity each day. Cade asks me, "Mom, did you get to ride your bike today?" He knows that the patients have a stationary bike in an isolated "family" room. Like a bike that doesn't move in a room with no people could be exciting! (And yes, I am thankful for it, so quit putting a silver lining on that bike.) I dutifully report back that I got some exercise in, and he smiles.

The kiddos are much tougher than I imagined. God is really holding them close. They have had some good questions for Van that we all struggle with at times about God's sovereignty and hardship. Although I don't like our situation one bit, I'm glad that they feel safe and are asking the tough questions early on. They've had their own sicknesses this week, and I'm so thankful for people surrounding us with care. Van had his own bout with sickness, but he was able to man up after he was done with it and head to Dallas tonight. Taking care of the kiddos in the car was a bit more than he could handle this time, so they'll be in Waco this weekend.

Keep praying. This is managable so far.

Do you believe?

This question was asked to me by a nurse as she was hanging a bag of platelets to my friend, the IV pole. It caught me off guard. It was mid-afternoon, and she had been reserved most of the day. She asked, not looking at me in the eye, and added, "Do you go to church?" Turns out, she became a believer in Jesus while living in what I would think of as a country hostile to Christians. I let her know that I did believe and what hope He gives me. Her story is an amazing one, but I don't feel quite right sharing any more. God knew and she knew that I needed that little boost at that moment.

I've been reading some in Phillippians. Paul was in prison at the time, so I draw on the similarities. There are only a couple, however, because I don't think that he was surrounded with people to care for him in the way that the sweet nurses care for me and the other 15 people that fill this hall. I've decided that nurses are about the best people on the planet, and any wanting to make a difference in the world should consider the profession. Remember opening day at the Olympics when the nations go around the track? That is just like my room. Very fun.

Van was able to visit yesterday evening and all day today. He gave me the low-down on what the kiddos and my parents are up to. Everyone seems to be managing well. Zane has thrown some pretty funny curve balls, but that is to be expected. We're praying that any healthy kids will be able to visit tomorrow. There is a sign posted the surgery side of the floor that only people 12 and over can visit. (I like to call this the party side. Everyone has the doors open, there are food smells, people are walking around everyone is watching loud tv.) Up until that point we had been told that the children could visit- if they were healthy -in the party side family room. My side of the floor, the bone marrow transplant side, is much different with the doors closed and very few people about. Honestly, I like my side better because my immunity will be down for awhile, and I like my naps. It's a good thing that I like it over here, because I wasn't supposed to go over to the party side! Woops. I pray that there will be some way to see the kids. It won't be the end of the world if not, but it sure would be nice.

Van was a real comfort today. He just hung out and read or walked up and down the hall with me. He doesn't get nervous in hospitals (go figure), so he was able to relax and get a bit of rest himself. I started bag 5 of 7 of chemo (plus another type the first 3 days), so I feel like maybe some of the psychological roller-coaster has stilled. The units of blood earlier in the week and the platelets sure did help my energy. I am thankful for blood donors, who just do that type of thing because they feel a desire to help or because they like a free t-shirt and a cup of orange juice. (It is expected that I'll need several transfusions during the process, and this is no big deal by the grace of God and His mercies in modern medicine.)

Oh,remember the last time I posted a blessing to you all from Romans? The next day, I walked into the bone marrow transplant family room and the same verse, one of my favorites, was handwritten on an index card tacked to the bulletin board. I've always teased Van that when God is trying to get my attention, He works in threes because I don't always get it the first time.

of Liberia and Raisin Bran

I hear that kiddos are doing well with Papa and Grandmother. Van was able to take Cade to school this morning and not have quite as strenuous schedule at work today. My day actually went pretty fast. I'm trying to put good use to every minute, even if that means a nap. :) Chemo is going well. I'm teathered to a pole with an IV drip 24/7, but I've learned how to manuever it around the room. Do you remember the commercial of the boy-doll, My Buddy? children singing: My Buddy and me!!!! Well, every time I need to go across the room, that song goes through my head as I tug along the IV pole. I'm getting creative with room service. Tonight it is Raisin Bran and a chocolate shake. I can't explain it, but it just sounded good. (I warned you that this writing might get dull! Next I'll be talking about what I watched on tv and describing the plot.) Oh, yes, tv. Wow, there are some really lousy shows! Van's mom is going to bring me a tv guide so I can just catch the ones that are uplifting. You know the Duggars are my favorite, and THANK YOU Stephanie/Lauren for the loan of the book. I've read half of it today!

I really enjoy the staff. My picc line nurse is from India, my room nurse is from Poland, and the lady who brought me Raisin Bran is from Liberia. The doc on call is from either India or Pakistan. I've learned not to try to guess which one but to ask (sometimes people don't like the neighboring country), so maybe I'll get brave and ask tomorrow! I think it would be fun to get a world map and have people "sign in" on their country! Maybe during the transplant process, except that I don't know what I would do with the map afterwards. I'm not one for keepsakes like that.

A "shout out" to all the sweet Facebook post-ers. Thanks y'all!

A blessing to all who read. This is one of my favorites, and if I remember correctly, it was on the screen at church on Sunday.

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. --Romans 15:13

Vacation Home

Van escorted me to my "suite" and got me all settled in. Then, people started bringing me food and offering things like bottled water and pajamas. Not bad! I have a beautiful view of the Dallas skyline with a little window seat with warm sunlight. Chemo will start tomorrow morning because my tests took a bit long to do today. (Probably because I didn't study.) Some machine down the hall sounds like cooing doves. That is a bit odd, but otherwise my room is quite comfy. It actually felt pretty good to lay down and watch HGTV. Oh, and room service will bring me a Dr. Pepper if I would like one! Sw---eet!

Care Calendar

Thank you, thank you, thank you! We are so appreciative of all of you that are able to help ease the burden of fixing meals. Thanks, Carrie, for setting this up! Here is the information.

http://www.CareCalendar.org/logon/64288(Calendar ID : 64288, Security Code : 3084 )

Phooey.

The car is packed, the kids are dressed ready to go to Grandmom's and Daddy Dave's, and Van and I are emotionally prepared. But...the car is under a couple of inches of snow, and Dallas is icy. In fact, my doctor's office was closed, and "non-essential" folks from the hospital had a snow day at home. So, instead of getting on the road, we spent the morning burning half of a carefully-measured sick-day on the telephone with Dallas and trying to keep excited kids out of the snow and dry. By eleven o'clock, it was clear that it was a wasted effort, and we bundled up the kids in enough layers for some promised snow play. Van tried to get down and up a hill to get to work, but that didn't happen until an hour later when a backhoe came down our street. I put Avi down for a nap, put on Yogi Bear for the boys and promptly fell asleep. I awoke to a very naked Zane covered in Van's work address stamped all over himself. I was tempted to put him in the mailbox with proper postage to see what happened, but put him in the bathtub instead. It wasn't until about 3:00, that I had my head back on straight and remembered that laundry and dishes had to be maintained. Frustration abounded today, but we made it through. I feel like we can pretend that tomorrow is a normal day, and we'll begin thinking about the best plan for Monday's chemo pretty soon. Thanks for praying. Boy, howdy, we need it.

Wait....wait.....wait....hurry up!

Well, I am going to begin chemo FRIDAY in Dallas. I'll be up there for several weeks(6?)before the transplant. The disease has progressed as some doctors had predicted, so we can't do a transplant until we weed it out first. Fun times! So, I'm throwing stuff into bags, and trying to remember what in the world is the most important thing in the 90 line to-do list. No time to be frustrated. God is good and is giving us a lot to laugh about. We are so thankful for good family, good friends, good doctors and a good match. Blessings to all of you.