My Discovery

I've learned a lot about a hospital. When I was a child and watched a certain soap opera with my grandmother, a person in the show might sneak into the hospital room of their enemy and use a syringe to put an air bubble into an iv line to their demise. So when I'm strapped to an iv, and I see a small air bubble in the line, or if the iv pump starts making a frantic beeping sound with the message "air in iv", I have learned to not panic and know that the soap opera people were just trying to be creative about new ways to kill people, and that I will in fact be okay. I have also learned that the same beeping sound could just mean that the battery is low, and that I need to plug in the machine. I know the sound of a distant vitals machine beeping 4 in a row and that someone forgot to take it off the "auto" mode. I know the sound of the elevator cords screeching near my room, and know that it isn't straining with the load and about to break, that it will screech another day.

What I didn't know concerned a room at the end of the hallway. This room is labeled "Physicians Office" (no apostrophe), and at any time contained 4, 5, 6--I don't know how many brilliant people. There are always docs, nurse practitioners and PAs coming in and out, the great minds solving the medical dilemmas of my hallway. I never walk completely to the end of the hallway even if the door is shut because I don't want to intrude on the privacy of my fellow patients AND because I don't want to hear my name. But, tonight the door was left open and the light was off...so I ventured to the end of the hallway. I couldn't believe what I saw. I made several more laps to sneak more peeks. It was a closet of a space. Somehow, a person who definitely gifted in origami had placed two desks with computers facing each wall, two black rolling stools and an ugly vinyl-covered chair (my own room contains the same) by the door. Every spec of space was utilized--with hooks behind the door for white coats and a light, presumably for xrays, along the top of one desk. THAT'S IT??? I don't know how two people could sit at the desks without their backs touching! You are kidding me. How in the WORLD do all those people fit in there, much less think? It is like a clown car for geniuses. I have a new respect for the medical profession.

Today Van used the GPS on his fancy phone (I knew that thing would have a purpose one day :P) to calculate the official distance of the hallway, only including the distance of the socially acceptable, walkable space. It has a very handy measurement, so we made a little key for the bulletin board in the hallway. By the way, I had calculated this by counting my own steps and estimating how much was in a mile, and had re-calculated it by counting the tiles on the floor, which year's ago, my daddy had taught me the length of and got pretty doggone close. And...drum roll...one lap in the hallway is .05 miles. If one were to walk 40 laps, which one did today (hmmgh, hmmmgh) one would have walked 2 miles. (Not all at once, but still...) Van said that he talked with another patient in the hallway, and she was so excited about the rudimentary chart! With the uncertainty of each day, and the confusion of "which day is it anyway?", it is nice to be able to count on something.

I have a rubber band which came on a roll of ribbon that my mother sent me that I set aside. I feel a little bit like Man vs. Wild by packing such things away just in case they might lead to survival at any point. So, this rubber band is wound around my 1 lb. dumbbells, and when I make one lap, I move it to the next finger, so I don't have to concentrate and can pray for people or think about something less tedious than counting. However, I was not up to walking with the weights at my 8pm walk (the same walk in which I made My Discovery.) On this walk I decided to walk better. I was going to walk briskly, but gracefully. I was going to walk like Clare Huxtable from the Cosby Show, and I did. I saw myself in the double doors at the end of the hallway and was pleased with my efforts. At mid point in the lap, their was a big burly enormous nurse outfitting himself in a precautionary disposable gown, enormous gloves and was holding some contraption that would definitely win a middle school science project. I don't know what he was up to or what the patient was in for, but I was going to give him some space. I cut the lap short and doubled back. He called after me, "I was wondering where you got your turns, but then I remembered that you went to A&M." (Meaning that I looked like someone in the corps of cadets.) So I said, "At least I'm not carrying a tuba." and made the motion of when the band member squats for a turn in a march during halftime. And then, oh, I realized that he might not know about the band part, and I did not feel a bit like Claire Huxtable.

Zane had some snot, so I did not get to see the kids this weekend. I did get to talk to them by phone and by Skype. While talking with Cade via computer, Zane was in the background with giant shorts (probably new hand-me-downs from his cousin) making efforts to thread a six foot rope (thanks, Dad) through the belt loops. He then concentrated on the physics of a rubber ball and a toy car ramp. He finally bounded to the computer when he heard me mention "planning for your brother's birthday". I knew the silly goose was eavesdropping. Fun times. Avi kissed the computer screen for me and then hugged it, and Cade said, "God bless you." first before I could say it. A good day.

Van just sent me a photo of soap. After a long drive back to Waco with the children, and some intense parenting in the afternoon, Zane emerged from our bathroom with a smile, and said, "I got the soap ready for you, Daddy!" 6 soap bars were unwrapped and neatly placed in our shower ready to go with the wrappers on the floor in the bathroom. I'm proud of my husband for smiling back, thanking him, and peacefully putting the child to bed.

Bag o' Gold

My favorite quotes from today:

Cade said,"How are you this spring day?"

Zane said,"On my birthday, I'm going to turn purple! Is that funny?"

Avi said, (indistinguishable babbles)..."Zaner's funny!" I said, "Yes he is. Is Avi funny?" She said, "No! Avi is pretty!"

My nurse said,"They're at 30,000!" and she did a happy dance. Just a bit ago I got the news that the platelet donation "stuck" and my counts went up. The sanctions still have not been lifted, but they should be in the morning. I have not been able to walk around --I literally got sent to my room-- or brush my teeth with anything other than the sponge-on-a-stick that they gave me among a couple of other annoyances. I have been able to watch youtube clips (ACU Spring Sing-I never knew what that was and now I do)and listen to my #1 Lady Detective on audio book.

So, thank you, Jesus! Thank you for healing platelets and all the people that worked so hard today to get them to me with joy. Lots of behind the scenes work with researching antigens and "refracting" platelets and phone calls. Lots of lab workers staring through microscopes, doing what would bore me to death, but God has given them a gift, and I like it! Lots of patient doctors and PAs working on stuff that I would need to go back to school to understand a tenth of it, but explaining it in a way that reassured me and helped me feel involved in the process. I am thankful for the donors that just showed up knowing that they are doing something good, but never knowing the full impact of their decision. I am thankful for a nurse that cheered me for two days straight (and I am thankful for the more "professional" care of the previous day ;P) and for her being able to see what a good, God-fearin' man I have and to encourage her to hold out for the best.

A very long day, but it ended up just right. The docs and PAs now know what kind of platelets I do well with and have double donation waiting if needed.

The Twilight Saga continues

Today has been a very busy, slow day. It began with platelets that didn't do the trick followed by two units of blood. The first bag of blood helped me feel better (probably boosted hemaglobin), and finally about 3:30 I was much less shakey-kneed and able to do laps in the hallway. It is important to keep moving when possible in this joint. Before that, I didn't move far from my bed because I promised my nurse that I wouldn't faint on her. It's 6:00 now, and as I write this I am getting the second round of platelets of the day. The hardest part of the day was trying to be patient while at the same time being very sleepy--a lot of blood pressure checks. I'm given Benedryl to minimize allergic reaction to the blood products. I probably got a 10-15 minute nap all day (and that is after a late night of platelets + the usual interruptions) so I feel sleep deprived.

I've watched more tv on the computer today than I have in a long time. I found the Dog Whisperer on Hulu. I figure it will help me know how to make my IV pole behave in the hallway. It does not lead me, I lead it. It is only allowed to sniff at other poles once, and then we move on. So far the training is going well, with only a few embarassing encounters.

I'm so thankful for all of you praying. I'm also thankful for those who have been able to love on my family in various forms. I love hearing back about the delicious food and sweet conversations. Kiddos are doing well.

Shepherd Boy

Wow. Please pray that these next round of platelets will "stick".

I'm reminded of "David said to the Philistine, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” Different battle, same enemy.

And all the little boys scream, "YEAH!!!!" and charge the reader.

The Return of the Taste Buds

Welp, I ate some asparagus, beans and a potato for supper. Then, I got really excited because I could taste it all and ordered another potato with butter. Turns out, that wasn't the best idea because starches seem to expand! I'll probably be the only person in history who gains weight in a hospital. I've been so nervous that the rug is going to be pulled out from under me that I've eaten at least some of every meal since I've been here. Problem is, there are only so many times that you can walk up and down a hallway and when the appetite returns--Watch out! Good thing I have a full suitcase of elastic waistbands.

I got a bag o' platelets this afternoon, and will get a bag tonight. Silly, silly blood will not cooperate, so it is all the more affirming that I need to borrow someone else's goods.

I am daily challenged to put my situation in perspective. Today's kick in the gut came from one of the people who cares for my room. Turns out, she is an African refugee who's family was obliterated by a civil war that is still raging. It is impossible to stick a smiley face sticker on that one, and we just had a couple minutes to talk before she went on to other duties. Seems like each day people surface who are dealing with real pain, and I know the only lasting peace is Jesus.

Field Trip!

Today was atypical. I think the day actually started on Monday with a visit from my sister. Yea! She came with a few art projects and boxes of girl scout cookies. What more does one need? We did not indulge in either, however because people keep me busy around here. It was fun just to share the time of walking up and down the halls side-by-side without activating the automatic doors or running into a cart. That was the funniest walking yet because there was a lot of obstacles in the hallway that day. It was a good time, too, because my fever broke that day. They had put me on heavier antibiotics over the weekend and taken extra, EXTRA precautions, and (thank you, Lord) good ol' 98.6 returned. We'll never know what caused the fever, but everyone around here expects it because the body just doesn't have the umph to deal with a wee little germ.

The second part of today was Tuesday. Trish stayed the night, so she got to experience the snooze alarms of 4:30am (vitals check, weight check), 5:30am (blood draw) and 6:30am (meds). That can vary a bit, but I think that is what happened. The hours were pretty steady like that, but it was actually fun with her company. She had brought our customary sack of stuff to show me. This time is was project ideas, which was great. In return, she was required to watch the Duggars with me. Then, I had platelets and blood (thank you, Lord), and she and I both conked out for an hour. We walked some more, and then we slept. It went so very quickly.

The last part of today ended this morning. Evidently my bone marrow transplant coordinator had sent out an email asking that certain tests be performed before I am discharged from the hospital, but no hurry. So I was escorted by AMBULANCE .9 miles to another hospital for a lung test. (To their credit, I couldn't think of a way around the ambulance ride because my immunity is compromised, remember? No taxi for me.) That went pretty well, although we had to wait in the weirdest little room with strange equipment and archives separated from the other patients. Everyone then got confused about where I was supposed to be and "Did you come with any paperwork?" (nope) and "Do you have that ambulance company's number" (nope). I was really glad to have Trish to laugh through that with me. We were finally put in yet another little room on a different floor to wait for the ambulance. So, I get on the final leg of our journey (on a stretcher, of course, because that's how one is to ride on an ambulance), and I thought it would be wise to advise the EMT that "I'm not allowed to be around the general population" and to go through the least crowded area of the hospital. Tricia told me later that his eyes got so big at that statement. It hit us that he probably thought that I had tuberculosis!!! We came .7miles back to my hospital (that's how it works in a city--you would never have to go two different distances to get back to the same place in a small town), and I'm glad to be back in my little corner of the world.

Trish is going to swing by Waco to say hello before returning to her troops. She is taking a treasure for Cade from me, although he is to share. It is the spring-loaded nostril clamp from my lung test.

Benedryl vs. DP

Van just headed back home to Waco. It was a JOY to see him. We spent some of the time looking up funny stuff on youtube. I thought it was funny, at least, and he endured it for me. Stanley Steemer commercials, Roger Miller, The Smothers Brothers and clips of John Denver that look just like Van's dad in the 70s were favorites. We stayed across the room from each other, and we sanitized where he sat just to make sure that any potential Wehmeyer germs were wiped out. I got a kick out of when it was time to say good-bye. He kissed my forehead and reached over and grabbed a Clorox wipe to scrub the spot down. I don't think he was kidding, and that just made the moment super funny.

Some brand-spankin' new platelets are now in my bloodstream. I'm ready for (another) nap, but I'm unsure if the Benedryl given before the infusion will outweigh the 12 oz. of Dr. Pepper in my system. It had been a long time since I'd been able to stomach any type of junk food (weird, I know), so it's a good sign that I'm back to old bad habits.