over the hills and through the cedars

Mom drove Avi and I to Utopia to see Dad this weekend and so Mom could have a bit of time at home. It went well, and we visited my great aunt. I had the oxygen tank on hand in case of emergency. Van wasn't real keen on the plan because Utopia is so far from doctors and hospitals, but he had a good time with our boys with baseball, fishing, swimming, church, and yardwork in Waco. Mom and I enjoyed the green countryside. It looks so different than last year's drought. The dam at the park looks so pretty after being cleaned out and some good ol' flooding. Avi, generally mild, is going through some kind of independence phase, so that was a bit tricky, but I think Mom and I still got some rest. Dad took Avi on a few lawn-mower rides and we went on errands. Since I was little, we've sung "to the dump, to the dump, to the dump-dump-dump" to the William Tell Overature. Wonderful simple time. I'm tired of thinking about me and taking care of me. I'm ready to do projects of all kinds and get plans in my head, and then I get up to brush my teeth, get just enough breath to do it and then go sit on the couch again. I'll see the lung doctor again on Friday. I'm grateful for Mom's company and for her sweeping and starting the dish washer at this moment. I'll get the stitches out of my left eyelid tomorrow morning, but it will still look pretty out of whack. My eye doctor feels like the procedure was a big success. The idea is to close off part of the eye so that it won't get too dry and damage my vision. If I ever start producing tears again, it can be opened up. I was geared up to have the right eye done to get it over with, but I think I'll wait until I have to because this has been quite an adjustment. A hard adjustment. Zane has Pre-K graduation at Parent's Day Out this week. I'm not ready for that at all. I'm not sure that he is either because he loves his teachers and classmates and has known them for so long. I still picture him as a chubby-cheeked toddler. He was such a cute baby, and now he is a handsome little five-year-old. Today, I am blessed to be a mama and to have a mama. I pray that Avi will get to have this beautiful experience in her life. She's already practicing now with caring for a stuffed alligator and a plastic Dora figurine.

Breathin' easy(er)

I generally have a general dislike for waiting rooms in general. However, on Friday, when I was still gasping, Van dragged me back to the pulminologist, and I giggled while waiting for the umpteenth xray. An 80 plus year old couple came in. The wife decided that she was going to read the ENTIRE medical history questionnaire to her vision-impaired husband. "DO YOU HAVE DIABETES?", she belted out. That started me laughing under my breath, and patted Van hoping to reach 80 with him and be so cute. "DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDNEY PROBLEMS?" "DO YOU HAVE LIVER DISEASE?" "DO YOU HAVE ANY METAL IMPLANTS?" I was about to loose it while Van gave me a slightly worried grin. "DO YOU HAVE AN I.U.D.?" At this point, I'm intentionally holding my breath to keep from bursting, and I excused myself while she was asking, "DO YOU HAVE ANY BODY PIERCINGS?" The lung doctor continued with his diagnosis of pneumonia with slow healing because of my immunocompromisabilityinmyself. All of the billions of send-off tests came back normal. I took a breathing treatment as part of my breathing test, and it didn't make a difference. Van and the doc sextupled (6 times?) my steroid, and booked me with a GVHD lung specialist in Big D just in case we're missing something, which we are not. Before I got home, I was breathing without the tank that I was dragging around and ready for a trip to Sonic for a DP float. By the time I got home after running a couple of errands, I was able to help a little with kiddos, and I was grinning in my leisurely bath. Before, my non-portable oxygen tank wouldn't get to the bathtub, so my choices were to quickly pant through a bath or have to stand in the shower which was even more difficult. Thank you, Jesus. The rapidity of the change was so extreme, that there was no medical explanation. I had not responded to the breathing treatments in the hospital (four a day!) and they actually made me so sick that I discontinued them, so there is no reason to think that it was just slow acting in me. The steroids would not have had time to take effect. I was so pleased that I stayed up ordering a mother's day present. Today, Van carted me to two baseball games and set up a chair in the shade (Cade played short stop and got 3 outs!) (Zane had a wonderful time conversing with the first base coach...and he played well.), and Mom took me to our youth group's garage sale. My mom bought a rock tumbler for Carly. Most of my family speaks love to one another in the form of pretty rocks. I scored two handsome quilts and a nice-sized rug for the boy's new room. Someone was very generous in donating this top of the line totally cute work truck/puppy decor. I thought it was time given that the boys' toes stick out of their baby blankets, and they have to stack them in a certain way so that they are enclosed. Somehow, I don't see them giving up the tiny blacnkets, though, especially those that are named. "Pretty blanket" and "Thomas" still have a few years to go. Maybe Cade will at least give his sister's pink fuzzy blanket to her now that she fits into it better and he has an alternative. The kids helped me order look-alikes of the special stuffed animals that have gone missing in the last few weeks. If a person saw the overflow in their room from stuffed animals, they would sign me up for "Hoarders" on tv, but after "baby jaguar" was not lost but "went to the hospital to get her bone marrow tested" I couldn't help it. Ouch. I was willing to go buy a real pony after that one. I got zonked around 5:00pm today, and I have been used to needing a nap by 8:00am, no kidding. I am so very thankful. Mom is amazing. She feeds us, does the laundry and keeps everybody occupied and happy. She's perfected smoothies for me--my main source of calories and protein. Well done. Kids are happy. They are enjoying baseball and enjoying their cousin being here. Van got them a kiddie pool with a slide for the back yard. We were avoiding buying one this year because no buyer wants to see it, but they sure do enjoy it on a hot day. All four were crammed in there taking turns on the tiny slide. We just screamed, "Don't come in the house!" when they neared the door for an hour or so and then finally let them in for towels. Rumor has it that my sister and her remaining two kids will come for a visit to unkidnap her middle child. I'm looking forward to seeing her. Maybe by the time that she gets here, I can release my Mom. Dad went back to Utopia to catch up and open the mail, but I figure he'll come give her eventually. The fried chicken that he picked up in Bandera can only last for so long. (And, of course, she is his favorite side-kick.) My eye that had surgery is healing nicely, but it still looks like I've been in a brawl with all the bruises from the hospital on my arms and my "shiner". My friend says just to tell people that I was the victor, and it will be okay. I don't know if Van will want me to go to church tomorrow because of my immunocompromisabilityinmyself, so we'll see. I can't figure out where the spellcheck is on this new format (blast it!), and the screen is still a bit furry to me, so I have a decent excuse for any typos.

couch tamato

Zane has a "ta-ma-to" (potato) plant in the garden that is growing better than anything I've ever planted. It's the only vegetable that we've grown this year, and he loves to show it off. Next year, that kid is planting our garden. I'm sore in my left eye, and I'm still on oxygen, so the couch has been my friend again today. Thankfully, the computer screen has been tolerable, so that's helped. I intend on testing tv tonight. I'm frustrated to miss out on outiings with my friends and their kids and not to be able to run to the store. Mom and Dad are running our circus. We borrowed sweet Carly (9) from my sister, and she has been so kind to help in all sorts of ways--bathing Avi, playing with little ones and just keeping us in her sunshiney mood. She is homeschooled, and she and Cade plan on working on homework together tonight. She helped him find the right website last night. That is so helpful. Carly, Mom and Dad may go out tonight to spend some special time together.

Eye bobs

I stayed 5 days in the hospital, and Mom and Dad have been helping a ton since then. I took a break from oxygen, but decided that I still need it for getting around the house. This morning, I have to go have an eye procedure. Chalk it up to GVHD again. My "eye bobs" as my kids would call them are crazy dry and don't show any signs of improving. Both of the boys have baseball games tonight, and I'm hoping to get to see them play. Zane winds up to the tee about 10 times before hitting the ball. It is hilarious. It looks like he has a strategy as he looks around the field for placement. Cade really has the hang of coach-pitch, and has impressed me with his new skills. I was hoping that baseball would be eliminated as a favorite, but it looking like they are really having fun. I have to admit that they look adorable in their uniforms. Zane and Avi are playing in front of me on the floor. Strawberry Shortcake now works for Texas A&M, and Avi is trying to coach Zane in the proper placement of hairbows. Cade is on a field trip to see the National Champion Lady Bears. He is very excited. What a wonderful experience. I forgot to tell him that they are tall, because he has just seen them on tv. It will be fun to see his reaction. When Van's mom was helping us over the weekend, they all went to see a Baylor baseball game. The kids wore their uniforms, and they had a great time. Despite my lack of knowledge in college sports, it seems that my kiddos are getting an early education.

Rumor has it that I might get to go home tonight or tomorrow. It might be tomorrow because The Heart of Texas Oxygen Tank Store Outlet Mall might be closed already. I'm going back on regular meds, plus a few extras like a giant stainless steel tank and will check back with the doc on Monday. It is likely that this was just a pneumonia with "fluffy infiltrates" (said with a Spanish accent). I don't really feel any better since I came to the hospital, but my cough has disappeared, so that is progress. Mom and Dad are still here to help. So thankful for prayers and for a God who listens. Please continue to pray for my eyes and lungs. You can pray for my elbow and nose, too, if you want, although there's nothing wrong with them.

breve

As in Hee-Haw, I'm still a-pickin' and I'm still a-grinnin'. Grinning might be a little exaggerated...a lot exaggerated. I'm ready to be outta here, but some things just take time, and this is one of those beasts. I'm very happy to be here in Waco close to my family while we wait to figure out what kind of pneumonia is brewing. The lab tests were sent to California, so I'm hoping that my sweet cousin could swing by and use her charm to speed things up. It's actually the type of testing that has to sit on a petri dish, so I suppose we'll just have to wait.

In the meantime, I have been very encouraged by all the encouragers. One of my favorite notes was sound advise from one of Cade's classmates. I wish I could scan a copy to show his backwards letters written with blue and then green on top of the blue. "Get well son Msr. Wameire. try to breve harder. May by it will help." Precious boy. I'll do my best to "breve harder". Cute, cute.

Speaking of cute, Mom and Dad said that the boys got out of the bath a couple of nights ago and ran circles in the house trying to pop each other with a towel. I can't imagine them as teenagers! "They were as naked as jaybirds." Oh,and Mom saw a painted bunting in our yard! Oh, and there's a little bluebird on my shoulder!

Rough Day

The highlights of today included extreme thirst and various things being stuck up my nose. I think the worst is over and those Nazis will let me be. Totally kidding. I have great care and I am ?thankful? for modern medicine. I'm especially thankful for my local pcp who made me come here despite my protests and gave me a hug and promised to continue praying and my two docs here at the hospital. Such kind gentlemen and freaking smart and patient.

Had some fun emotional meltdowns that poor Van had to deal with. I almost lost it whenever I thought I was going to be transferred to Dallas. I'm quite comfortable here, thank you--where is that nice man that stuck the cotton swab up my nose? Bring him here. I love that guy. The thinking was that Dallas doesn't have to send out samples because they have a big lab plus they have the majority of my records. Everyone agreed, though that a little more wait time would be okay. Another meltdown was when I discovered that my steroid (that I was ever-so-slowly weaning from) was increased. Van says it is temporary, though.

Mom and Dad navigated Elementary school, parents day out, an oil change for my car, HEB and tball practice and brought the kids to see me. The kids were happy to push all the buttons to raise and lower my bed and for some reason were really impressed with the size of the shower. Such timid little creatures.

We've had so many offers for help and meals. We are truly blessed by the body of Christ. If I had to pick health or Jesus-like friends, I'd pick the latter. I'll take health, too, don't get me wrong and really make me pick.

I listened to John chapter one (read by Johnny Cash--the best) and liked the scripture "in Him was light, and that light was the life of men". I also listened to some Fernando Ortega given to me by friends. Encouraging. I also had just downloaded some Kidz Bop the other day, and it was fun.

Anyway,

"Tomorrow, tomorrow! I love ya, tomorrow! You're only a day....a.....way!"